i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
