Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
