I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize