Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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