Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize