I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
