I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
