Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize
