My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
