Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
