i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i now understand why vodka
Such a big mess for such a small penis
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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