You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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