You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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