The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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