You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
