i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
