He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
