There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
