i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That's how pantless uber rides happen
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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