i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
