I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
the raccoons are back...
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