I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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