my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
