Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize