I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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