Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
