I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
