it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
