those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He's on the porch naked. Help.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
