Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Come on in and take your pants off
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