i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
