Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
