What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Houston, we have a squirter
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
