1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
