My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
