My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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