bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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