Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry AliasMe hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate

Fav 25 6307 1444
share tweet
(714): View more from California

Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.

Fav 8 2107 4001
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me

Fav 16 1347 5149
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name

Fav 12 4112 1435
share tweet
(302): View more from Delaware

Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now

Fav 15 1046 4738
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

Fav 25 6602 1708
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.

Fav 9 3394 1055
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.

Fav 5 759 415
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(573): View more from Missouri

Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.

Fav 0 29 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT