Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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