Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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