just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
