a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So vagazzling was a success
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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