Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
