is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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