Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
