She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
