I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
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