I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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