He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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