fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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