I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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