You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
