doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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