I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
