There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
