Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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