remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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