so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
