I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
