I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
