I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize